failure.

Well we have applied for like... 8 houses I think, not successful yet.

At some inspections there are over 60 people. On the Realestate web site that has the listing you can actually check to see how many people have viewed that page and there are none that are under 500 clicks. I beleive one of the reasons we keep getting turned down is because our third person is in Korea, and our applications do not support the fact that we can ACTUALLY afford a 3 bedroom unit/house with a third person but since he is Korea there is no proof of that. It also doesnt help that it is the WORST time of year to be looking for anywhere, all the uni kids are going back to school and looking for places now too.

R's lease in his apartment has ended today, so he has moved all his stuff out and hes coming to stay with me in my parents house. Well.. I've know the boy for approximately 1.5 weeks and he is moving in with me and my family, and we have spent every possible moment together since we met, but still, thats a bit of out of the norm for maybe anyone.

I'm reasonably enjoying my job again, all the time I've had nothing to do at my desk I have spent drawing and now there is talk of moving me on to do the shading of plans and sketches. I got a bit bored today so I decided to make a hot chocolate I didn't want. I spent roughly 20 minutes perfecting it, brought it back to my desk, spilled it everywhere within like one minute, spent the next 15 or so minutes cleaning it up, the ten waiting for the kitchen to be emptied and another 20 making another one, which I gave to Joel because I decided I didnt want it after all the effort.

The last week has seemed really epic, but nothing crazy has really happened to me which I think is a bit odd. If you don't count the 5 foot tall moustached sailor I meet today, or the attendee at the train station whom I had a really awkward conversation with because apparantly she thinks Im pretty or the girl having a break down on the phone I think I'm doing pretty well.

bye bye creativity

Yesterday a girl from work who hasn't been in for a week and half without calling, rang up and spoke to me. She is quite obviously in the midst of a mental breakdown. She ranted for quite some time about infinity and the fact that she has finally found the love of her life and its making her go crazy... She gave me this message to give to everyone:

"I want to thank you all for you support, I've been to the doctors dot dot dot and they have informed me dot dot dot that I'm head over heels dot dot dot crazy, infinity symbol"

So that's a bit strange, I am really concerned that my actually giving them that message will result in her being fired. I guess if she is incapable of doing her job its the right way to go.

At dinner last night I voiced my annoyance about never being able to use my car. I used the car 4 times on the weekend and each time I had to put fuel in it, and someone would jump in it in the mean time and take it and use all of the fuel and it wouldn't be there when I wanted it, and then i spent my last $70 on petrol to go to Maleny and Maloolabah. Its like this every single time though, its like they just fuck with my car in every way possible so i keep falling through a huge magnet of debt, I'm already up to $5000 and that stupid piece of shit car that I never get to use is the reason for this.

So apparently, if I let the conditions as is, that is, my brother driving me to the train station and picking me up when I require Monday thru Friday and my allowance to drive it wherever at night, and there always be money in the glove box for fuel he will fix it all up for free for selling it.

These things are wrong with it:
*hood lining
*power steering pump
*radiator flush
*screwed up wheel from last time a mechanic fucked me over.

and he will fix it for free so long as I pay for parts with these conditions:

*I can use my OWN fucking car if I give one night notice Monday through to Friday
*he won't leave it with no fuel EVER
*He will fix it for selling within one month of me moving out.

The contract is written on a piece of tissue paper so its basically set in stone. I have a feeling there is nothing even wrong with my car, they are just trying to mess with me some more.

Our first application for a house has been rejected. Its so fucking hard when I work full time during the week, and the inspections on the weekend have 70+ people looking at them. The shortage is so fucking bad, rent is higher then ever. We will just keep doing it until someone accepts us.

R is the best I love him to bits.

I'm going to the doctors later on in this week and refilling my sleeping pills script. Its been probably 2 weeks since I went to bed before 2 am and I get up before 6. Last night I couldn't sleep and I thought that I could hear things in the walls again, and then in my pillow. I can't take that anymore. I slept without a pillow for like 5 years because I thought I could hear things in it, it affects my dreams really badly, like falling and hitting something and waking up suddenly kind of thing. So anyway, I looked at the watch and it was 3 so I got up and watched TV for some time and went to bed and woke up again at 5 crying from whatever it was I was dreaming about. Its the worst when u actually wake up crying. gah, so over it.

bye bye creativity

uber boring post

So, I'm all about cleaning myself up and not being such a sloppy spastic drug fiend. Its going longer and longer between each time I use anything. So its been like a week this time if you don't count codeine and weed. I rock! I'm on a bid to be less self-destructive and happier.



With this in mind the weekend was pretty chill. I'm not feeling so great because I've been drinking every single night since Thursday 2 weeks ago, I think my insides are pickled.



Friday afternoon was drinking in the office. Beer was so great because it was a terrible day, I was so hungover and tired and it was my all to keep from falling asleep. I walked to the train station with Joel from work, I really enjoy his company. R rang and decided to come pick me up from the station before fortitude valley. I thought he was going to take hours to pick me up like most people who say they are going to pick me up normally make me wait for an hour minimum so I went for a walk, but he only took like 10 minutes and I had gotten lost in a drunken daze and he had to come find me.



R, B, Shan & Char were around for a bit on Friday night. I was all excited because I didn't think I had to work the next day so I stayed up really late only to be woken at 7 by mum making me drive Bellmere to pick up 20 bales of hay. Lifting fucking hay first thing in the morning is the WORST.



Plans for Saturday was camping at Kenilworth with people from work. We drove up with Ed & C it took like 4 hours to get there. Just awful. Camping mainly involved getting incredibly drunk and not much else. Erin is frickin crack up, love her. We played frisbee, my most favorite of all things to throw. I jumped over some chairs and did as many cartwheels as possible.



I'm covered in scratches and bruises, I fell over a million times. Some idiot decided it was a great idea to go skinny dipping. I was running down the water hole and axed myself, apparently there was a ditch, apparently there was a bridge over the ditch, I apparently missed these two details and ended up sprinting into it. Oh the horror.



Erin and I were the only girls to go topless, and the boys were of course naked frolicking around. Admittedly Ed is a babe, he gave me piggy back out of the reeds, even in my drunken haze I really should have known better then to be naked getting a piggy back of a naked boy. the night was bound to end up like that.



At one point someone rolled me down the hill wrapped in a doona, I struggled to get out. There were delicious marshmellows. B had like fallen asleep with C in a field type thing so me and Ed decided to Sleep in where me and B were going to sleep. I'm not sure of the details but the next day I woke up in my underwear in Ed's tent after the worst sleep of my life. I tried to inconspicuously sneak out without anyone noticing me coming out of his tent but I realised I couldn't find my pants and I had to run across the campsite in just my underwear, as soon as I got out of the tent I got a huge ass cramp in my leg and was sprinting around. I woke like everyone up, to find me running in circles outside Ed's tent in my underwear. I'm pretty sure we didn't hook up. I remember touching each other for hours going oh no we just can't, work would be so awkward. LOL.



Went to Gardners falls the next day. It was great I finally had the courage to do the damn flying fox.



I was so tired. I went to H's on Sunday night but was so tired I got LOST on the way there. I don't know how that happened I've been there a million times. I left pretty early I was feeling really down. J is the worst.



Yesterday R came over and we went to the beach with Zac after filling out a bunch of applications for houses. Hopefully will be moving on the weekend. R wears Speedo's Ha. that's so adorable. Zac is a darling whom I love. R came over after the beach, we were lying on my bed cuddling and my mum walks past. I think she's pretty concerned about us moving in together now.



I couldn't care less.

awesome..

blew my mind...

So R applied for a house yesterday, I really hope we get it. It is in St. Lucia. I went over his house yesterday because we had planned to speak with his mum and the other potential room mate.



Didn't end up going to plan. We took some filtered out Codeine that I had not tried before and got drunk and lay around in our underwear. Oh man.. Why were clothes invented.



So while talking about the codeine we were consuming we got onto the topic of heroin, seeing as codeine is a lesser form as is morphine and opium. He told me something that I researched today

tobacco has a far higher death rate (33%?) than either heroin, alcohol, or
cocaine. Yet, addiction criteria alone does not determine the nicotine (or
illicit drug) health threat. The body of scientific evidence now indicates that
harm associated with both heroin & nicotine is the result of contaminates in
the drug delivery devices. Other than addiction itself neither nicotine nor
heroin pose significant behavioral or toxicological threats (given
the use of safe/effective drug delivery devices).

http://www.lycaeum.org/drugwar/hening.html

I mean obviously I can understand why heroin ends people but since they also know this about cigarettes isn't it ignorant to not ban it also.

I can't understand why cigarettes are legal. MDMA was patented as an intermediate chemical used in the synthesis of a hydrastine (drug intended to control bleeding from wounds). heroin is used both as a pain killer and a recreational drug. I mean nearly all of the main banned recreational drugs had some kind of medicinal use and while may outweigh the good side affects with the bad at least it was intended to be medically beneficial. Cigarettes never did anything.

So where I'm going with this maybe I should quit. Oh I've been saying that forever. Perhaps it's the governments only way of controlling the over-populating. CONSPIRACY.

I'm fucking around and ranting but I'm glad I actually looked this up. I had lost faith in R's judgement after he tried to tell me that you can drink and get drunk of mouthwash. he researched it and didn't think that you could get sick from drinking it. He said the reason it tells you not to swallow it is because it is 22% alcohol and people would drink and drive their cars to work or whatever. I totally disagreed with him, saying that it WAS NOT a good idea to drink listerine, I mean the contents include acid and it tastes like fire. So to prove a point (he thought) he drank the mouthwash, and spent the rest of the night throwing up.

I love it when people do stupid shit to prove a point.

Sprint times.

Tonight I am staying at R's house whilst we try to sort some of the housing stuff out.

This morning I was pretty lucky. I knew I had to get the mail and the milk before I got to work because C was probably calling in sick. but..

Last night, I went to B's and she cut my hair and I scrambled around frantically trying to find all the papers and stuff that I would possibly need for renting. I went to Zac's to get my payslips and then T* was meant to come over to write me a reference for the rental application. He promised he would come over at 9.

I was at home and I got everything scanned, and waited... and waited and waited for T*. It was like.. 10 by this stage, and he hadn't rang me back or text me back so I rang the work phone. He answered and he's all like oh I'm still at work. I'll just do it tomorrow, I freaked out saying, I need to apply tomorrow I need it tonight! so he told me to drive round there and get it. GRR. He is so incredibly inconsiderate, but still. He wrote it I guess thats the main thing.

I got there at like 10:30 and it I didn't get home until 11:40. Since I haven't had more then like.. 4 hours sleep in one night since last Wednesday last night was just too much. I couldn't sleep when I actually got to bed, but I guess I must have eventually because I then woke up at 7:30, and missed the train.

I ended up having like 5 minutes to get ready for work and get to the train station and I made the train as it got to the station, when I got to the city I sprinted, made it to the post office and to the milk store and was STILL 5 minutes early.

I was actually woken up by a text message from R. Proves this boy is a legend.

Feathers: He feeds on the souls of your enemies.

BIG DAY OUT

I woke up so god damn hungover it was ridiculous. Oh man. Terrible. P & B came over pretty early to come get me, I wore my parklife fluro purple dress its frickin sweet.

We went to J's, were she kept us for like an hour because she wasn't even ready yet, resulted in being late for the big day out thanks to the horrendous traffic. The car trip absolutely sucked. I always get so car sick and it was so hot.

We finally made it to big day out for the middle of Josh Pykes gig. I was so upset I missed the start. He was fricking awesome.

We saw

• Josh Pyke, -He was fucking great, I like him a lot.
• Midnight Juggernaughts -Awesome, I was a bit distracted by the fact that we met them and they're such babes though but they were great.
• Dizzee Rascal -Ha. AWESOME! loved it. He's hilarious. Some fucking dickhead climbed up the lighting post and they had to stop the show for a bit because he was such a jerk.
• Hilltop hoods - Unfortunately, we happened to be sitting by their stage. SUCK. That's actually the third time I have seen them, we saw them at big day out in 2006 and they played at schoolies as well. At the schoolies show, I had my nose pierced at the time, and.. we were at the front of the stage in the nosebleed section, and the nosebleed section came on, and the crowd got pretty excited and were flailing around, and in the flails someone punched me in the face and I got a nose bleed. Nosebleed in the nosebleed section to the nosebleed song. AWESOME
• Augie March- Are lovely. that is all.
• Grinspoon-Were actually pretty great. I was impressed.
• ARCADE FIRE - FUCKING ROCK!!!! holy crap so fucking awesome. I love them even more now. They played all the favorites and were so frick awesome, they had the stage filled up with their instruments. At the end the drummer jumped down and sprinted through the crowd with his jump and jumped over the barrier in front of us. He was so close. I wanted to catch him. During the concert Josh Pyke was standing like a metre away from us. WOW.
• Silverchair: are the worst band in the history of the world. I want to snap Daniel Johns for being such a complete tool.
• Bjork: Was amazing! She played Hyper Ballad oh god... BRILLIANT.
• Rage against the machine: what the hell is all the fuss about? I don't get it. I didn't like it.
• Carl Cox: I don't even remember I had lost it at this point.

So when we were sitting down, we were sitting near this other group of people and there was a boy laying on a girls lap and he kept looking at me and smiling. I said to B we just HAVE to be friends with him he's just the cutest thing ever. So he came over and asked for a cigarette, and we got talking and stayed together ALL day. He was by himself because he had went with his girlfriend, and she had dumped him as soon as he got there. His name is Regan, and his girlfriends name was Megan (hilarious) and he introduced himself as, "Hi, my name is Regan, Regan... like Megan only instead of the SLUTTY you get an R." best call ever. So anyway, this boy is like the most awesome person I've ever met, and were probably moving out together next week. He's like an adorable puppy.

J and P know the lighting people in the boiler room so they got to do the lights for a bit. We Were really really off chops and somehow we ended up in some kind of foam jungle there. I saw some people do some things at the big day out that really made me feel sick. There was a fight I was witness to where this big fucking muscly dude just was relentlessly Bashing the fuck out of this skinny dude. No one could stop him, and every time he managed to walk away the dude came sprinting up and just threw him to the ground kicking him in the head and stuff. It was horrible. I was sitting with R in some field, and we were just people watching, and there were two smallish women walking along the path and a huge obviously drunk fucking disgusting bogan middle aged man was walking along, The girls were wearing hats and the man smashed it off her head and knocked her over, and stole her hat and walked away laughing leaving her crying in the street.

After Big day out ended we left R and went to the Casino where we were meeting some friends who were staying there. They weren't there yet so we went down to the beach and there was a group of lovely boys on the beach drinking and playing bongos. They stripped down and went swimming and I sat drinking with the bongo people.

J was being a fucking bitch and screamed at everything I said for the next like... 15 hours. It was pretty intensely awful being near her.

We went to the casino and met with the people who were staying there. They are bar tenders from family. They just gave us so much free booze and free drugs it was ridiculous. I think I ate like 15 pills. We wondered around the casino for a bit, really really dazed and got some 3$ drinks. It got to like 6 or 7 in the morning and I was tripping balls really bad and wanted to go home. J cracked the shits yelled at me and wouldn't take anyone home until 3. Even though she said she wanted to drive there, when we got there she was all " I'M GOING TO DO WHAT I WANT TO DO". The lovely people from family we stayed with all day and we had a sleep and went to the pool and stuff.

I've seen and spoke to R a few times since then. He is so lovely, I hope this moving out works out.

Saturday night

Involved Geordies birthday. We went bowling, which I am not very good at, and to O'malleys to get drinks & food. I chose to completely write myself off as well, I wasn't in the best mood because T** was being a jerk as per usual, and was absolutely wrecked. We went to Fridays and sneaking in was not successful. We went to a quiet bar near there after where Geordie basically spent the next half hour crapping on the night. I got upset and pretty emo for some time about that, I'm not normally such a sensitive pansy but a combination of T**, Tequila and Geordie's bitterness kind of got me.

We went to the Victory, the victory sucks, Zac was fucking HILARIOUS.

I caught the train home, some guy spent the whole time talking about his cat and my brother ACTUALLY picked me up from the train station. Great job.

Friday night..

Entailed getting horrifically drunk with free drinks at Fridays with work colleagues, telling them dirty secrets in my drunken venerability.

I met a guy called Chris who I talked to most of the time but I decided I wasn't interested in. I was being such a jerk! I was so drunk and I was acting like I was the best thing ever. Oh man I sucked so bad. We went to Ed's and went swimming in our underwear. P B and Char drove all the way from Narangba to come pick me up, we were going to go on adventures but I passed out in the car.

Erin was so incredibly drunk so Ed and I put her in the nearest cab to take her home, before we left Fridays. The cab driver really didn't seem pleased about it and it took a lot of convincing from the other cab driver to take her to Geebung. I rang her the next morning to see if she got home OK and she told me all about her ordeal of getting home. Apparently when she got home she went inside but didn't lock the door, the cab driver followed her inside and tried to 'get fresh' with her. She managed to fend him off and he left her apartment. I felt really bad and responsible for it as I had put her in the cab. She couldn't even report it to the cab company because the man did not run the meter so there was no record of the trip.

ASSHOLE.

cracking bone

my day has officially gotten worse.

I went to the store to buy a phone charger, the store had moved but i still managed to find one.
I waited at the lights for the green man to walk across the street and some old women hugged me. I do not know what the deal is there. I didn't hug her back she hugged me from behind, and then looked at me shocked and walked away.


And..


I just asked one of the guys that work here what the 'annoying' clicking noise was when he walked, and that he must have something stuck to the bottom of his shoe. apparently its his ankle and he is sensitive about it. Now every time i hear it Ill know it is cracking bone and not to ask about it again.

Ergh.

Last night..

Adams band was playing so I went to Burneys where Monty Python was watched and noodles were consumed, and the door was answered by a tall blond boy in his underwear.

Adams band was good, especially for their first time.

I got a near free drink and a free jelly cup. sweet.

The train ride home was sucky, at least I only had to wait half an hour for a train though. There was a guy on the train who was oddly familiar, or I don't know if he really was oddly familiar or I just thought he looked like someone (I thought it was this guy who, once whilst I was catching a train home from the gold coast when I was around 13 or 14 with a few friends, this gay guy sits next to me and harassed me the whole trip, and was going on and on about gay sex and every possible aspect of it)

I fell asleep and woke up just as the train was pulling into Burpengary. SWEET. Some guy followed me to my car and tried to get in, I got pretty upset.

I tried to drive away as quickly as possible and he didn't actually manage to get in the car, as I was driving off he was yelling, TAKE ME TO DECEPTION BAY! I JUST WANT A LIFT.

He was a hobo of some description.


ergh.

Pointy. He killed your childhood pets

This is what I do at work when Im not fucking something up somewhere.

I hate my life.

Today has fucking sucked so far.

A fault in an email I tried to print meant that 175 pieces of paper got wasted.

I was asked to drop a colleague off at a meeting in the company car. I dropped him off in the valley all well and good and then I realised I was completely lost and there was no refidex in the car. I drove around a bit finding it difficult to adjust to everything being opposite because it is a European make. I looked at the fuel gage and freaked out because I thought it was on empty.

I had absolutely no idea where I was. I was trying to navigate to a petrol station but there aren't any in the city. Upon realising that I had taken a wrong turn I turned into a street behind a truck so that I could find somewhere to turn around. There cars parked on either side of the street and the lane in the middle, although was a two street was only room for one car to get through. The road was also quite steep.

Probably about 10 meters into going up this hill with a car behind me the truck in front stops. All of a sudden starts reversing down the middle of the street. I knew he couldn't see me and I started beeping and trying to reverse but there was a car behind me. I could hear these people screaming HOLY CRAP! as the truck kind of failed or he chose to completely ignore the beeps and came rolling back on top of the car, I threw it into reverse as did the car behind me upon realising what had happened and reversed onto a MAIN road in the middle of the city across 3 lanes of traffic.

The truck then proceeded to attempt a 3 point turn, and managed to wedge himself across the tiny fucking road. The side of the truck read "RENT A TRUCK".

So All these cars are beeping at me and this other car that were reversing across a main road at 10 o'clock on a Friday morning whilst this fucking truck is wedged across the road in front.

I managed to drive forward and pull over after a while. I was fucking shaking like hell. I called work and explained why I was already half an hour late. So I drive past the hospital to a petrol station and pull up and try filling up the car.

I pressed the pump and it started convulsing and not working. There were lines out the door for the petrol station, so I run inside where there is one person waiting and anxiously wait my turn in the queue to ask for some help with the pump. A women comes out and cannot get the pump to work, and her colleagues were ignoring her. So she leaves and walks back and comes back out again and confirms that the pump is not working. So I was boxed in and had to wait for 2 cars to leave before I could go anywhere. I get to the pump and it only puts in like 5 dollars before it turned itself off. I was like WHAT THE FUCK.... and then I realised... because its European and every things backwards.... the fuel gage was too... It was full not fucking empty.

So I work on Eagle street, and... I was in the valley.... and somehow I got lost AGAIN and ended up on the story fucking bridge.

So I finally got back to work and couldn't find the fucking car space. someone had to come down and show me where to fucking park the motherfucking fuck car.

to get to the valley and back it took me an hour and forty minutes.

The office car was meant to have been used twice in that time, so two people had to get cabs.

Weird Day.

Yesterday was kind of ridiculous.

It was off to a bad start, I'm not sure if I slept at all. I LOVE INSOMNIA!!

I get up and choose to wear my leopard print silk dress as a shirt with a skirt thats got a satin underlining and stocking. This was a poor choice, the static from the dress and the skirt kept zapping me, and I just made it to work when my stockings ripped.

On the train, I was feeling too anxious to read my book so all I had was my MP3 player to distract from the draining boring hour long ride. Yesterday the train was particularly crowded, which was bothering me and there was a slightly larger man sitting next to me invading my space. This trains cabin lights weren't working so when we went through the tunnel the train was pitch black and I knew there was crowds of people around me. So being the claustrophobic nut that I am, I slid between the seats as a coping mechanism I guess (Its become kind of a reflex I think, I duck). It was awkward for me and everyone around me when the lights came back on.

I decided to walk down to Queen Street to buy some ciggerettes and people watch on a bench. I'm smoking my ciggerette when this guy comes up and asks me for a lighter I look up and see this guy, who while admittedly was good looking, was a complete tool. He must have thought he was the modern day Fabio. He was wearing a business get up only with his button up shirt buttoned down to past his rib so that the wind would blow on his "rippled" chest. His hair was shoulder lengthed tied in a pony tail and slicked back and he was wearing those ridiculous overly large sunglass that are too reflective and dont have much of an indent in the middle, as well as those ridiculously large 'Italian" loafers that footy jocks wear when they go clubbing. I gave him the worst look of my LIFE and lent him the lighter, and for some fucking reason he sits next to me and is all like "SOOOoooo how u doin?" kind of thing. oh god. GROSE. I didn't say a word, got up and walked away. BURN!!

So I decide to cross the road to go to work when this woman is walking along in her nightgown, she had a walking frame and was horribly disabled. The red walking man light was on and it was peak hour traffic, this women walked across one lane and stood swaggering in the middle of the road while all these cars beeped and swerved around her. All the pedestrians were kind of just staring there in shock not really concerned for her welfare. I walked out and was trying to say come back, when the green man came on and she turned her WRATH on me. Only not really saying anything about what I had said about safety but about how she can handly anything because her husbands dead or something, either that or she was speaking in tongues.


Work sucked. I went to make coffee and pressed the wrong button and the big fat lesbian of the office was in the kitchen, she turned out to be a coffee nazi. She totally ruined the coffee and then the bosses were upset with me because it took me so god damn long. I hate being the office bitch.

I change my shoes before I walk over to the pick up point, the thongs I grabbed were leopard print (they werent mine they were just by the door) and the bra that I was wearing was leopard print as well. I dont even like leopard print, the walk was very self conscious. FUCK

I get home and my mum starts bitching the second I get in the door. Then she turned on me. Then she started yelling at me to cook dinner, and I said no I'll do it another time (she was nearly finished) So she went nuts at me and said I couldnt have any dinner. (she had regrets and saved me some)

So I went for a drive. I went to Rocksberg and a giant herd of cattle were in the middle of the road and I got stuck there for ages. they engulfed the car. I didnt want to beep at them in case they charged or something. It was pretty epic. They very very very slowly moved out of the way.

thats all. I guess it wasnt that weird.

The most boring girl in the world.

Here is a list of things I did today:

went to work. (quiet day)

drew this picture.

googled the following things:

• Hamish the hairy cow
• herman the giant bunny
• thumbelina the worlds tiniest horse
• puffins
• pandas
• horses
• monsters
• velociraptors

mailed some stuff.

read up to 450 of questionable content comics.

scans..

will try to do more soon...

may offend...

I don't waste my weekends though.

Thursday night I went to dinner with J and B, the food was good but J was in a mood that was really irritating me, and the she locked her keys in her car. We went to the movies and T* ended up coming to see American Gangster. I really enjoyed it, it was really really long though it achieves a decent momentum, it feels its length. The true story at its core (of the rise, fall and redemption of a '70s-era Harlem drug lord) is really intriguing and the way of the style that it was made really compliments the story. It's a pity T* and I giggled like school girls all through it.

Friday I had lunch with K & Toni, and brought a belt that's way too big for me, I also had a huge stack in the middle of the MYER centre. GAH. I went to Fridays after work with the boys from work, and then to O'Malleys for a drink with Skye, Zac and H and club Pheonix to see Geordie play with his band. I thought Geordie was great on stage and the crowd seemed to respond to the band pretty well. I wouldn't however go back to club Pheonix again, or at least not for longer then an hour. I find the kind of people in the crowd to be the kinds of people that I don't take very well too, its like they're all screaming " JUDGE ME" with how they act and what they wear. (See Left. I don't actually know this person, But that's pretty stock standard get up). I could forgive them for it if it actually looked good, or revolutionary, but they look so silly just for the message "I like this kind of music" (I realised how much of a sweeping statement I just made and how much I just stereotyped please forgive me). Don't get me wrong, I know a lot of really awesome people who dress like this but I don't understand it. Maybe its more that I'm not affected that way by the music, it doesn't make me want to wear black, or have black hair, or smear make up all over my face and wear poorly designed band tshirts that have pictures of dying people or the devil as art, or wear horribly ripped stockings and fishnets on my arms. whilst I like some metal I can't listen to it for too long because it takes me back to high school, being stoned with my friends in Pascoe's shed only ever playing that music for hours, I don't often feel the energy in it and to me it can be very draining. I'm glad I saw Geordies band though, I actually enjoyed it.

Saturday night was good, for the most part. The train ride in was sucky, we sat with a bunch of drunk bogans we knew who were obnoxiously loud, and talked of bashing people up and saying cunt too often. One of them pissed himself.. Fridays with Geordie and B was lovely, the view from the balcony is so pretty. They went to get Mcdonalds where Geordie was proclaimed Garry the sex god of Brisbane by a group of some particularly nerdy guys because he was with two girls (from Sweden I might add). It was amusing. Had an argument with some awful teenage boys on the train, and changed carriages to find a big group of people I went to school with. We talked, well I talked... I embarked on a long drunken rant about bananas and being Swedish. They were pretty glad to get off the train, it was good to bump into Olivia though. The cab as promised was not there, there was however a girl I used to be best friends with when i was like.. 8. I have no idea how I recognised her, we shared the extremely late cab back.

The instant images party was fun, except for Zac being a drunk jerk and making me drive back. H played some particularly interesting Japanese punk music. Oh singstar and guitar hero.. you have ruined a generation..

Oh I love Monday mornings, the furthest point away from the weekend.

I find that this job, it being so far away from my home really results in my having no time to do anything ever. I have to get up at 6:30 to get the 7:30 train to get to the city at 8:30 and walk to work and get milk to get here at 9. After work I walk 40 minutes when I finish work at 5:30 wait until 6:30 for my dad to pick me up to get home at 7:30. If I'm not in bed by at 9 I know it makes it all the more harder to get up and do it again the next day. The alarm clock in the morning going off after 1) you have either laid in bed all night wishing you were sleeping; 2) slept but had exhausting sickening dreams that don't really count for sleep at all or 3) went out resulting in staying up past your bed time makes for a pretty panicky I CANNOT DO THIS AGAIN attitude the moment you are awakened by your obnoxiously loud horrible sounding alarm. The next thing to run through my mind would be its only ... more days to the weekend and i can sleep in then. Always longing for the weekend so that you can catch up on sleep because there is not often a set time to wake up and do stuff, yet my Saturdays are occupied by a shift at Instant Images and my Sundays are spent sleeping recovering from the lost sleep on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights. If I actually stay home on one of these nights I feel I waste the oppurtunity/my life and its just to long for the next time the chance will arise to ever actually take time to rest.

There is no time and I blame this for my lack of motivation resulting in my never climbing any kind of ladder towards anything I want to/need to do.

• ride my horse
• do some art
• finish airbrush course
• maintain cleanliness in my room/car
• look after my dog better
• excersize

These are the kinds of things to constantly ride on your mind, but will never improve until something amazing happens to come slap you out of your rut.

that 1 guy

Sunday night:
That 1 guy came to play at the Step inn in the valley. Luckily enough he was getting a drink at the restaurant we were at so I got to meet him.

I'm always really giddy and awkward in situations like that, but Burney pulled the lead and introduced himself to him. "Yo famous guy, what time are you playing tonight?" We got to talk about stuff... his real name is Mike and he has seen Bucketheads face.

He vaguely remembered me (or at least said that) from the planting at Woodford.

ar. HERO

The show was AWESOME. He always is. T* came with me and was really impressed like I knew he would be.

He is such a genius, he's an incredible person for his originality and creativity.


"the moon is disgusting its made out of cheese"

"I'm going to sing the first two parts of a 3 part trilogy about fruit... part one... oranges"

I love music that leads your imagination like the Beatles and the kinks, he's right up there with them.

http://www.that1guy.com/

he has the most fantastic hats and shoes...

summafield dayze

summafield dayze was SO HOT.



I woke up feeling really sick from Friday night, and the hour and a half it took to get there really didnt help. I forgot my sunglasses so J lent me some of her ridiculous faux sunglasses that were actually for 3D movies... =HEADACHE



the fluro and the heat all around was ridiculously painful. I ended up choosing one of my dresses that were white just because it was cool. It can never be worn again..

We got there and the amount of people and colours and get ups were amazing but due to the extreme flooding the ground was just a giant mudpit. We met up with a whole heap of different groups of valley friends. I had been ignoring T* calls and messages because he was working there, so he called J and met up, so we ended up spending the entire time together because he ditched work.

I was excited to see New Young Pony Club, and they were OK. I really wasnt generally impressed with the festival, I probably wouldnt go again. About evening time I started to get a bit weird thanks to the 4 pills, the point of speed and the tab of acid as well as an unlimited supply of free drinks.

I remember kissing T* on the ride and yelling "STRANGE PLACES TO MAKE OUT WITH PEOPLE"

Actually... I don't really remember much.

There was a scary carni, he was a mutant and I was afraid, and at one point i was rolling in the mud. I also tripped out because i thought the mud was sucking me in.

The toilets were fucking disgusting. Imagine a coffin, upright, that someone had pissed all over, and then left in the sun for 12 hours, and then smeared some poo on, and then some fresh piss as well, and the entrance being a piss infested mud bath.

I lost myself and everyone else for a while, I ended up getting attacked. Last thing I remember some guy yells "I'm going to catch me a model!" and then im tackled on the ground whilst he tried to steal my bra.

The amount of fucking disgusting CHOPPED CHOPPED CHOPHEADs was pretty terrible as well.

We had to fight for our lives to get on a bus. It was like a giant CRAMMED as many people in as possible, like a sardine can only so much tighter. IT WAS AWFUL. There were all these ridiculous chopheads swearing their heads off "fuckin buses, fucking cunts". Eventually we got on a bus, I held onto T* as tight as I could and he pulled me on, we got a seat but the bus was so packed and everyone was so sweaty there was no air and the windows fogged up from the sweat. I'm claustrophobic. Biggest panic ever.

We followed T* out so he could call us if there were any drug tests, on the way home something happened to his car. He must have hit something but he had to pull over 3 times. That was bad. I forgot I was in my underwear and got out on the highway. J very nearly got hit by a massive truck. Its so frightening to be very close to edge of the highway in a 110 zone especially. I drove it to a service station (BAD IDEA for me to be driving) it was making the worst noise, I think a bit of tyre went up and smashed the front of the body kit.

We had planned to get to the valley by 3 for lockout but ended up spending until 5 in the morning chatting on a picnic bench at the BP.

I had the best shower of my LIFE at Jordyns.

holiday over..

We went out to dinner on Wednesday night, and then to uber but left right away because some big maori girl tried to fight J after J asked her to get off her foot.

Thursday I had to take my Grandpa to the shops, it was pretty painful. We went shopping and I got a bunch of pretty awesome new clothes, and some free ones too. We went to press where we met some random rich guys that brought us all these cocktails that were costing like $25 each. Mono was GREAT. I danced all night. I accidentally burned some girl with my ciggerette, she was mad. Brent was fun, so was Dale.

Friday I went to see my friend Jake first up, he just got out of hospital after taking 2CE right after him and his girlfriend broke up. He thought that he was stuck in a 2 minute time lapse, and went absolutely nuts trying to kill himself to get out of it. He punched his friend in the face when they were trying to contain him, smashed up a rent a car, lay in the middle of a motorway, and sprinted head first into a pole. The pole smashed his head open and he had to go to hospital, now he's got all staples in his head and his face is all swollen, on the plus side he did learn his lesson not to do it again, or for anyone else to for that matter. My mums broken her ankle so when I got home she made me clean the house. Kirley and Sam came over and I took them to the tavern and then we went to Brents with J. His room mate is "DJ Sneaky" and he played us some tracks. We went to J's, and then to the chalk hotel for Sorbi's birthday drinks and went to C's, and back to press club. The rich guys were there again and hounding us and we met some guy who is a pop star in South East Asia. We left and went to Sunbar to see "DJ sneaky" and his friends and then went to the exchange. The exchange is SHIT although dancing black was good. I misheard what "DJ sneaky" name was and when we went back to his house with some guy name Pete I went to ask him something toward the end of the night, it went "Hey shaun blah blah" APPARANTLY his name isnt SHAUN its SHANE. He got really annoyed, I've met him heaps of times before and I still didn't know his name.. He asked us to leave after that.

awkward...

the trip part 2

So were still in the park and its hours later and still me Tim and Jordyn but Nav and Sam have returned to the house with promises of bringing back noodles in 7 minutes. In the hour we waited before we got impatient was spent running into the field and back and fiding ways to spaghett each other.

Like I said with all lost senses of space and gravity its pretty easy to just hide behind someone and spaghett them. Jordyn jumped off the cloud into Tims arms and they both fell pretty hard to floor and she landed on top of him and recovered by saying.. "spaghett". BRILLIANT.

So we ring Sam and somehow she has lost the cup that the noodles have come in. She got annoyed and hung up but Jordyn kept ringing back, and Nav answered "Spaghett"

Basically the rest of the night was spent absolutely killing spaghett.

We were still sitting in the park when the police showed up, I'm assuming security rang them about us sitting on the "cloud". Luckily at that point no one was up on the shadecloth anymore. They drove right into the park, park right next to us, and shone their light onto us (when they turned the light on tim said "spaghett"). I was really panicing, Tim scarred my memory when he said in a really serious tone "Time to sober up" you cant sober up when your like that, and getting scared only wigs you out more. They actually only circled us with their light on us and drover away without getting out of the car.

I decided I needed to be in a safe place after that so we walked back to sams.

Sam had massacred the noodles, I was convinced that she had mopped the floor up with them, and that they were sea sponges. We went into the tent to discover that it had been flooded, and I had slept in a puddle and hadnt noticed. So we moved to the room, it tripped me out. It was just an empty white room and I began to think that it was the epitomy of "room" it was not a bedroom, or a bathroom it was just a "room".

Tim thought it was a good idea to put a packet of dehydrated vegetables and flavor sachet in his mouth. He sincerely regretted it.

We played with glowsticks for a while, it was pretty insane, like a floating worm.

I was upset that I had no watermelon health pack left but then Jordyn came in and turned off the light and told us to sip her cup. It tasted great but when the light was turned on I freaked out thinking that it was flesh of some description. It wasnt, she had just mashed up a watermelon in a cup in an attempt to make a health pack.

We went BACK down to the shell petrol station to get some food and some more ciggerettes because Sam and Jordyn smoked the whole pack in less then half an hour. We brought Lollypops, chocolate bars and drinks. When were driving it feels like were rolling in a game thats made out of plasticine and everything is really bright and happy looking.

The lollypop had a hole in it which we sucked up shots of drink through, it was quite strange.

I took my belt off and it wigged tim and nav out, he thought that it was a snake of some kind that had just appeared. We put all the doonas on the ground in the "room" and we had one doona each so Tim put his down and I lay next to him and put mine on top, I was quietly freaking out thinking that we were a people sandwhich and that someone was going to eat us. Jordyn convinced Tim not to let me share the doona, and i got cold and upset and on the floor feeling so Tim and I left.

The sun was up I think it was about 5 or 6 in the morning. We were still tripping and we shouldn't have been driving. It took us at least 15 minutes to decide what CD to put on. Once again we were rolling in some kind of game and everything looked amazing. I kept screaming at Tim RED LIGHT because I didnt think that we could stop or that we could control the car, he was getting annoyed with the backseat driving. We stopped at McDonalds on the way home. We were so scatty and so not understanding of anything we didnt know what we were doing and ordered a bunch of random stuff, like $20 of food by accident. We got afraid by one of the burgers, it looked like a monster so we threw it out the window.

Bed was amazing. It was cold and raining outside, the most comfortable bed in the world. I send tim a message that says, pretend like everything is quiet and you dont suspect a thing. next one says "spaghett" he's like whoahhhh you got me..

RIP spaghett..

The trip part 1

the trip was amazing.

I didn't have any clothes with me so i tried on this big jesus like dress of jordyns and I was convinced that I had climbed through a material tube, and poked my arms and head through and wore it. The dress is see through so I put on my see through shoes and then I convinced all of them that I was invisible. I decided I was too much like jesus so I put my moomoo hippie dress thing back on and went to get a cup of water. I had Tims thongs on and the cup was bigger then a regular cup and tims shoes are too big for me but not too much, so with the big cup and the big shoes and the really stretched moomoo everyone thought I had shrunk slightly.

We had this big conversation about recalling all the incidents we had heard of animals escaping from the zoo. We decided to go for a walk to get ciggerettes. People on bikes were riding past with their lights on, I thought that they were shooting stars. We didn't notice this big apartment building til the last second and it spooked us so Tim yelled "SPAGHETT" The man in the convenience store wouldn't sell us them because no one thought to bring ID. On the way back Sam came maybe a split second from getting hit by a car. I was really afraid of the cars, I thought that they were charging at us and that they came in packs. We found a phonebox and it was illuminated and the most amazing thing me and Tim had ever seen.

We decided to DRIVE back to the petrol station, and I decided I would absolutely die if I didnt get a drink. Tim understood how dire the situation was and helped me select a drink. We went with Watermelon gatorade which became a health pack, like in games. It scared me because when I drank it I couldnt understand how I could fit a whole watermelon in my mouth. we went to the park and climbed the monkeybars. Tim got stuck and I thought that he melted into the monkeybars.

Nav and Ben came across some fireworks somewhere. They had a lot of trouble lighting it and I was afraid that it was spontaneously explode. We had started to think that the monkeybars were a really uncomfortable bed, so we got down because of that and we were convinced that the fireworks were going to come bite us. The second one worked and it was massive. To me it looked like a giant fire dragon that swept over me.

Jordyn and Sam climbed up onto to shadecloth kind of tent thing that stands over swings in parks. They thought it was a cloud. Tim was trying to get me up there but I thought he was a bendy beanpole and didn't let him. We found this giant tree that was SO hard to climb. It was just so tall. somehow with the help of Tim I made it up but kind of fell into the fork in the middle and got very very stuck wedged in with my legs at like a 80 degree angle in the air, and my face in the center of the tree. I was SO STUCK. somehow after a while I managed to roll over but I was still on my head and my legs up in the air. Somehow I corrected it. Tim decided he really wanted to come up but it was just so tall. I couldnt get down either, I thought the tree was trying to hug me, I tried to jump out but then I thought it was amazingly high. Tim was trying to tell me he would catch me but I couldnt get through the branches. I ended up jumping through expecting to plunge to my death, but it was actually only maybe 7 foot high. Tim had tried so hard to get up, he nearly pulled me out of the tree. He thought he had this great idea to run and jump into the tree, but forgot to jump and ended up just sprinting into the tree.


We went for a walk, and found Brisbane river around a bend in the path. It was the most magical thing that I or Tim had ever seen. The thing about acid is that you lose all your judgement and have no concept whatsoever of space and gravity. We were on this big embankment cliff type thing and Tim thought that he could get down it. What looked like one step and some inviting water was actually about 20 foot steep embankment with marsh trees and jagged rocks at the bottom. I had to stop him. we found this odd path thing and though it was leading to a lizards cave or something, it was just a bench, but wow. what a bench! On the walk I saw a bike in the distance and was convinced that someone was after us. We ran away to this pagola that was green and white and tims shirt was green and white so we thought he was a fence chameleon. We started collecting presents for the others which turned out to be some bottlecaps and a broken umbrella. The bike was actually part of bicycle parking which we staked out for a bit trying to catch a shooting star, it didnt happen.

We got lost on the way back but it turned out we hadnt gone very far at all. I was looking for familiar landmarks which was a broken down car, that I thought that the other cars had turned on it and left it to die. I was leaving a trail of bottlecaps because we were Hansel and Gretal. We got back to the cloud and began to swing on the swing. Me and Tim thought that the swings were mechanical because we were synchronised swinging. Tim started freaking out because he couldnt stop swinging and he was just getting higher and higher, then I started freaking out because my swing twisted and I thought the swing was trying to slowly constrict and eat me.

I started rolling down the hill, and Tim came joined me. It was fun until I got what I thought were firecrackers in my sleeves, which turned out to be ants that left massive welts up my arms.


Part two,

soon.

New years eve

I think I've lost a day.

New years eve was awesome. Woodford was really great as it always is. The weather was so bad, it was basically wading through mud and belting rain all day. The festival itself is all about the environment and issues all relating to becoming a better world, so its a really positive place to be at. I went with Jordyn and Lyndsey but we met up with Bec & Sofie and some of their friends to dance in the rain to some raggae bands for a few hours. fantastic.

We decided to go to the valley for actual new Years so we left Woodford at 9 to go back to the car. The weather was so bad they had shuttle buses carrying people to and from the campsites which some were quite far away because of flooding. We lost the car in the dark and when we finally found it we were getting pretty late. I took a wrong turn and got the car bogged in a swamp. The swamp was pretty remote and there was no one around, so I started panicing. We were in a 4WD but I didn't know how to turn the 4WD on. Because of New years the Networks on the phone were busy and I was paniced thinking that we were going to spend New years stuck in a swamp in the rain in the dark covered in mud where no one would find us. My paniced response to that was to get out in the mud, flail around a bit to try and dig the mud out. DIDN'T WORK, just got really really dirty. The end of the story is APPARANTLY you have to get out of the car to lock the wheel after you put the car in 4WD gear to get it on 4WD. It drove right out.

Had like 5 minutes to have a shower and get ready for valley, Went wearing a moomoo and a daisy chain on my head. Perfect timing for the valley 11:30. Spent the actual countdown in a tree sitting next to some guy named Holeness and the rest of the friends. The rest of the night is a massive blur. I remember at some point wondering around lost with a blonde total babe backpacker from Holland, climbing the story bridge, not getting let back into Monastry (I was a MESS) and still being out at 7 in the morning. I normally can hold it together pretty well, I just don't know what happened. I think the free drinks and drugs had a LOT to do with it but I still feel pretty embarassed I cant really piece together the night.

I went with Tim back to jordyns to sleep in the tent for a bit. It was too hot and Tim stole the couch and they slept all day so I got ridiculously stoned and passed out on the tiles, I woke up with the hookah still in my hand, so i moved back to the tent. I only just remembered that I woke up in a puddle, the tent got flooded majorly so i just moved the electrical stuff out of the water and went back to sleep in the puddle. I had some weird memory and went from sleep to running to save tims phone from the outside and the rain.

I turned around and everyone was over and awake and just STARING at me. that was weird. it was like 6 and Jord and Tim went out to get trips. Nav and Ben are fun to talk with, they talk about stuff like mouse pancakes and potato chip chewing gum.